Like Father, Like Son: Chapter One

Like Father, Like Son: Chapter 1

...

He parted the curtain to find his wife lying in bed, the sun streaming through the windows and falling gently upon her face. She cradled a small bundle to her chest, her usually emotionless eyes smiling.

"I'm so sorry I couldn't get here sooner!" Zuko told her, out of breath. "I wish I hadn't missed it, Mai." He approached the bed, his robes flowing behind him. He leaned down to press a kiss to her lips.

"It's okay," she replied, lifting the small child off of her chest, "Zuko, meet our son."

The young firelord's shaking arms extended and gently took the baby boy from his wife, holding him to his chest. He cradled his son's small form delicately, knowing that in his hands was the most precious child in the world. His son was so small, so light, and so amazingly perfect that Zuko could not tear his gaze away. Love of the purest kind filled his heart, making everything seem lighter. Holding the infant in one arm, he reached up with the other hand and softly caressed the soft flesh of his cheek. In his sleep, the newborn wrapped his small, chubby hand around Zuko's index finger. His smile widened as he marveled at the pure innocence in his son's sleeping face.

"Roku," he managed to say. He and Mai had talked about the names beforehand, and agreed that, if it was a boy, they would name him after Zuko's great-grandfather. "So beautiful." The words barely escaped his throat; the emotions had closed it up tightly.

The corners of baby Roku's mouth turned up slightly as he held his father's finger. The sight was enough to nearly bring tears to the new father's eyes. Never before had he seen something as marvelous as his son.

Roku's eyes began to open slowly, and Zuko found himself staring into golden eyes exactly the same as his own. It only lasted momentarily, however, because the baby's eyes scrunched up as he began to cry. His eyes widened, alarmed, wondering if perhaps he had done something wrong. Despite knowing that it was natural for babies to cry when they awake, he still couldn't help but wonder if he had accidentally done something to hurt his son.

Seeing his anxiety, Mai spoke up. "Don't worry, he's just hungry. Here, give him to me." Despite his unwillingness to part with his young son so soon, he handed Roku over to his wife. "I will give him back to you, I promise. He just needs to be fed." A few minutes of breast feeding later, she handed Zuko his son. "Just put him over your shoulder and tap his back gently until he burps," she instructed.

Zuko did as he was told, placing his young son at his shoulder and tenderly patting Ruko's small back. He held his son carefully, making sure that his delicate body met no discomfort. Paternal instinct led to protectiveness flaring up inside of him, and he vowed in that moment to never let anybody hurt his son.  When Roku burped, he began crying again. Zuko cradled his son, bouncing slightly and humming a lullaby, urgent to make the cries stop.

Holding his newborn son filled him with such love and joy, and Zuko couldn't help but let his mind wander back to his own father. Had he felt this way when he held Zuko for the first time? Not likely, Zuko thought. He loved Roku unconditionally. Even though he had only known his son for a few minutes, he already knew that he would love the boy forever, without reservedness, forever. No matter what Roku did, how much he managed to screw up, Zuko was determined that his son would always have him to turn to, without fear of judgement. He would never have to wonder whether Zuko loved him. He would never have to be the best just to win Zuko's attention. And, most importantly of all, he would never know what it was like to be hurt by his father, whether physically or mentally.

Sometimes Zuko wondered how he could possibly be a good father, having grown up with Ozai. His own father had hated him. He had been altogether willing to kill his own son, just so he could be crowned Firelord! He neglected Zuko, always making him feel like he was a failure, a disgrace. He burned his only son and cast him away, giving him an impossible mission. How could Zuko even hope to be a good father to his son when his own father was so rotten? He didn't have to look farther than Uncle for the answer. Iroh had filled the deep void that Ozai had left. When he banished him, Ozai left a scar not only on Zuko's face, but on his heart as well. Iroh was the one who healed it, the one who taught Zuko all he needed to know.

Zuko stopped humming when Roku ceased crying. His golden eyes looked inquisitively around the room, finally stopping on his father's face. The little boy mirrored his father's smile and reached up to him. His short, stubby arm only managed to reach the left part of his jaw, and Zuko leaned down a little to grant Roku access to the disfigured portion of his face. The smile did not leave Roku's face, even as his chubby fingers felt the burnt, rough skin around his left eye. Childish innocence and curiosity was housed in his eyes, not the pity that Zuko had grown so used seeing.

"I will never do anything like that to you, my son. I will do whatever it takes to make sure you never feel this pain," he told Roku softly. Zuko's free hand again came up to touch the smooth skin of his son's cheek as he pondered his own father. He couldn't imagine ever looking down at Roku, helpless and begging for mercy before him, and using firebending to mar his son's face... Such a thing was unfathomable.

You will never know the pain I did, Zuko thought. I would go to the ends of the earth just to see you smile. You will never know what it's like to be cast aside by your own father. You will never know what it feels like for me to not love you. I promise I will always be there for you, my son. You and your mother are the two best things in my life, and I will always love you.

"You will never be like him, Zuko," Mai assured him. Knowing exactly what she meant, the new father looked up from his infant son to focus on her, before looking back down to his son's beaming face and up again to hers. Any lingering doubt that he had about being a good father had withered away into nothing the second he laid eyes on his beautiful son. His family was a blessing, and Zuko couldn't imagine ever tearing it apart like his own father had. He loved his family with all of his heart, and then some.

"I know, Mai," he responded, sitting down at her bedside with his infant son cradled in his arms. "I know."